Tab 3 · Guru
The gods are played by actors. The guru is not. He spent half a lifetime in a left-handed Shakta lineage in West Bengal, wrote a 365-day course, and answers his own phone. This tab is three things: a live call, a free course, and his philosophy.
What you can do here
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His portrait sits in a little pixel TV. THE LIGHT IS ON means you can call right now. ON A CALL means the line is busy. THE LIGHT IS OFF means he is away; tap TELL ME WHEN HE’S BACK and you get one notification when it turns on again.
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CALL THE GOOFY GURU starts a real video call, no booking. A two-hour call is 600 tokens (about US$209.94). The tokens are set aside when you call, and you pay only for the minutes you were actually connected; the rest goes back to your balance. If he does not answer, nothing is taken. Calls are not recorded.
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52 Doors of Initiation: the first 52 days of his 365-day course, the Andhakaara Path to Power, free. One door opens each day. Behind it: that day’s teaching poster, the text, and a PDF to keep.
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Two short films about Kali and the guru, Balance and Protection: how he sees the dark goddess, and what she protects.
Examples
Every day of the course has a teaching poster like these: the practice, the timing, the reason, on one page. These are the real ones, days 2 to 52.
How the course works
Why a real person
He looks at your life the way the couple on Kailash does, except that he is real, answers on his own phone, and laughs.
The films are a mirror. Sometimes you need a person in front of the mirror. That is what this tab is for, and why it costs real money: it is his time.
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